Friday, May 4, 2012

Harder Every Year

The campus is almost empty. Most underclassmen have moved out, and the seniors are preparing for their final hours - greeting family members, trying on caps and gowns, and saying goodbyes.


I'm one of few juniors still here. As I type this, I sit in a nearly-abandoned dorm. We've emptied our drawers, moved our furniture back, and taken down our posters. The ghostly footfall of those who remain echoes through the hall.

Leaving Asbury is always hard. This place is home. These people are family. You don't just leave your best friends for three months without shedding a few tears. But it's harder this year than last. And it was harder then than freshman year. It's harder every year because every year I get closer to the big goodbye: graduation.

It hurts just thinking about it. It's a physical ache. My mother has always said we feel that way because we weren't made for goodbyes. We were made for eternal lives and for heaven, where nobody leaves or moves away or graduates. And I know I sound sentimental and ridiculous right now, but that's because I feel sentimental and ridiculous.

You guys, I'm graduating in a year. And guess what? I don't want to. I want to hold on to one of campus lampposts and kick and scream and refuse to leave. I know it's not healthy to stay a college student forever, and I know good things are coming after I graduate. I'll grow up. I'll be more independent. I'll get to put all of these things I'm learning into practice. I'll get a job and make new friends, and life will be exciting in a new way.

But man, we weren't made for goodbyes.

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