Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Anxious to Matter

Long conversations are among my greatest joys.

I spent a long time chatting with friends after breakfast today, and my friend Cassie asked how I thought I had changed in the time I've been in college.

These words came out of my mouth:

"I don't know really. I'm a lot happier. I used to think I had to accomplish something, do something big, get my name in a history book. Now, I just want to find somewhere I fit."

And I think it's true. I'm a lot more at peace than I used to be. I'm a lot less fearful. I'm a lot happier.

In Pearl Harbor, Ben Affleck's character explains why he's in the war by saying, "I'm not anxious to die, sir, just anxious to matter."

For most of my life, I was anxious to matter. I was desperate to be someone important. But by the grace of God I'm realizing now that the stuff that matters is stuff that lasts a heck of a lot longer than things in a history book.


  1. I really liked this post, Jane. I'm glad to see NJ has been good to you in more ways than one :)

  2. I like this a lot, Jane, that's something that's really begun to sink in the past several months. I'm realizing how much the "little things" really do matter. I'm glad you guys are having so much fun! I wish I could have joined you all!